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Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Lost Sock Stories
I Know You’re In There
Ever since I was old enough to wash and dry my own clothes, something odd would happen. I’d put my clothes in the dryer; two pairs of socks would go in but only one of the pair would come out. There I stood, staring into the dryer looking for the sock that disappeared. I felt like the little boy who chased the chuck wagon into the cupboard, opened the dog food bag and said, “I know you’re in there”.
After talking too many of my friends, they too had the same experience. I’m starting to believe there is a lost sock land that the dryer sends the one sock to called the Land of Lost Socks. Imagine a land filled with lost socks. Everywhere you looked, there were hills and mountains of lost socks. Instead of leaves on a tree there were socks and every flower and plant were made of lost socks. On the other hand, maybe there is a land filled with one-legged people and somehow the dryer would send the gift of one sock to each of them and is why so many of us loose one sock to the magic dryer.
As time passed and I got older, it was nice to know that I was not the only one who lost socks to the dryer. My dear friend Tina use to buy socks with patterns on them. However, after losing so many socks to the dryer, she started buying plain color socks; one pair for each day of the week. This way when a sock was lost to the dryer, she could pair her socks up by color but despite all her efforts, she would still end up with socks that didn’t match. Needless to say, everyone of us end up with a drawer or bag of socks that don’t match and for some odd reason we can’t bring ourselves to throw them away because we truly believe that one day we will find the lost sock. When Tina’s daughter Cori was very young, she had a Halloween sleepover party and one of Cori’s friends came in a homemade costume made by her mom. The little girls costume was a pillowcase that had socks pinned to it so all one could see were socks. When Tina asked the little girl who she was suppose to be, she replied, “I’m the Sock Monster.” The little girl’s costume was made of all the socks that no longer had a matching sock because it never came out of the dryer.
Tina said it was a good thing socks aren’t made left and right ‘cause if socks were made that way we’d have an even harder time matching our socks. That made me think, it’s a good thing we make socks so they can go on either the left or right foot ‘cause otherwise there might be one-legged people in the Land of Lost Sock without a sock to wear. Assuming of course, that some of the one-legged people in the Land of Lost Sock had a left foot and others had a right foot. Could you imagine one-legged people waiting in line to get a sock that fit their foot? It’s a good thing we make socks the way we do, so the one-legged people are able to put a sock on either foot, left or right.
My friend Katie told me, not all socks go to the Land of Lost Socks. Some socks hide in the clothes they were dried with. She said one time she got dress and went out into the world and the lost sock fell down her pant leg. There was also the time she had a lump in the back of her pants and when she tried to smooth out the lump, she found a lost sock. It made me laugh because I have found a lost socks that way too, only I thought my lump was my tucked in shirt. I remembered wishing my shirt would stop lumping up back there. Guess what, I didn’t find the lost sock until I got home from work and took off my pants and discovered the lump was a lost sock. One time I wore a lost sock in my house gown for two or three days before I discovered it was a lost sock. My house gown was purple, it had a hood and a kangaroo pocket on the front. The gown was made of polyester, so of course whenever I dried it, it would get a bad case of static cling. The sock was stuck to the inside of my house gown. One day I pulled the gown off over my head, which turned it inside out, and low and behold, there stuck to the back of my gown was a lost sock.
I also have a friend who coaches a college tennis team and she told me about the time she was at a tennis match and trying to build the confidence of her team. While sitting there waiting for her team to play she look down at her leg, there at the end of her pant leg hung a lost sock. She couldn’t help it she started laughing. She showed her team and they started laughing at the sock that was hanging from the bottom of her pant leg. Everybody knows to keep quiet at a tennis match but they couldn’t help themselves.
There are so many stories about lost socks. I did meet a man who knew what to do with the socks that had lost its mate. He told me that the mate less sock becomes a dust rag, and he demonstrated by pulling an imaginary sock over his hand and pretended to dust off his bookshelves.
As mentioned earlier, not all lost socks are sent to the Land of Lost Socks by the magic dryer. Don’t forget some socks cling to the clothes they were dried with better known as static cling. My long time friend Ekua, told me about a lost sock she found months after it went missing. One day she was dressing and selected a tight fitting shirt she hadn’t worn for a while. When she pulled the shirt over her head she found her lost sock as it had moved from inside her shirt and clung to her neck, there she stood with a sock around her neck. Well I guess this is one story that gives us hope that some lost socks can be found and is the reason we don’t throw the matching sock away.
There is one story about missing socks that tops them all, I met a young man that told me one day he went out in his back yard and found one of his socks that his dog had eaten. However he did not know what he was about to discover. I’m sure he was thinking, “Bad dog,” and pick up the sock. Well in doing so, he discovered that the holy sock was full of dog poop. His reaction was, “Oh my god I’m holding a holy sock full of dog poop.”
My friend JP thinks that the dryer sends the lost sock to the land of the kittens that lost their mittens. He said because cats don’t have thumbs that’s the reason the kittens lost their mittens so it stands to reason that the dryer would send socks to the kittens. Could you imagine a land where kittens were walking around in socks ‘cause they fit better than a mitten? JP also said there were color gremlins in his washer. He said they don’t like white things to stay white because the gremlins get bore so they turned his underwear pink and they love to put fountain pen ink on his white T-shirts. I think JP may be right about the gremlins ‘cause I had a set of black socks and every time I washed a pair, one of them came out of the washer with a hole in the toe; I think the gremlins do get bored.
All in all, we may never know where lost socks go. Perhaps we will learn what to do with the socks that have no mate and stop keeping them in the draw and in bags with the hope that one day we’ll find the missing sock. Or maybe we’ll get creative and make something out of the socks that didn’t get lost.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
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SEROFU AND HER CLAN
LIFE OF THE AFICAN ELEPHANT
Friday, February 5, 2010
By Lambert van Buuren
People from the continent of Africa were shipped to the Americas as far back as 1619. On January 1, 1866 the Civil Rights Act freed African people from the oppressive laws and the political codes of slavery in the United States of America.
Stories such as these, warned of the underling danger slaves would face if their actions were hasty or rash. The enslaved told many folktales with the uncanny ability to present a hidden message warning all what might happen if they were to strike out at the cruelties of their condition.
These stories were used to pass on the philosophy of their African Ancestors. Hidden within each story, successive generations of living books passed on their stories of survival.
This knowledge is how many African mores survived slavery in America to become African American folklore. Through the magic of words, the enslaved were able to create a wellspring of folklore that would proceed for years to come and tell their stories.
Lambert van Buuren
Who is Ma Pearl
Who is Ma Pearl
Ma Pearl is the personification of the elders on my mom's side of the family. They were great storytellers and I learned from the best. Their southern dialect was lost in one generation. So, when I tell the stories or folklore I use the southern dialect as it is how I heard the tales of Bruh Rabbit and his friends.
Ma Pearl Telling Tall Tales and Stories
One of the problems with telling tall tales and stories is it not always easy to get the story fixed in the time it is suppose to be in. That’s because there’s so many different kinds of time.
There’s daytime and nighttime, bedtime and time to eat.
There’s sometime, any-o-time and no time at all.
There’s timing is everything meaning think before you leap.
Not to mention take the time to do it right and some of us need a time out.
There’s high time, fly time, good times, bad times and the wrong time, not mention a long time, a long kinda time and time to go.
There’s so many different kinds of time it’s enough to give a body a headache. One time I even tried to count up all the different kinds of time but my brain calculator can’t count that high.
There are new times and old times, cold times and it’s about times.
There’s a time for everything and no time for foolishness, so stop wasting time.
Not mention time waits for no one and that’s because time keeps on ticking and slipping in to the future.
Some people think they have all the time in the world and that’s why they are always late. Some people are so busy they just don’t have time to start or stop.
And then there’s “Once upon a time.” Well I guess you figured it out that, “Once upon a time” are stories about people, animals, places and times that have come and gone.
But the time I like the most is story time, it’s my favorite time of all.
But I bet you didn’t know that way back in the beginning, before there was time…
Long time ago, and way back in the beginning, most animals didn’t live here on the earth. They lived next door to Grandmother Moon, way up in the sky and might still be there if Bruh Rabbit and Grandmother Moon hadn’t had that big-o-misunderstanding. How it came about was like this.
You see the animals liked to sit in their backyard and look over the fence at Grandmother Moon, they thought that she was the most beautified thing they had ever seen. Well, one night they was watching her and they notice that she was, pardon the expression, losing weight. On that account, Bruh Rabbit being the sort that he is, decided he would go over and find out what was going on.
“What’s the matter Grandmother Moon, ya don’t look yo usual full self dese days. As matter-uh-fact ya lookin’ a bit melancholy. Is dere anythin’ I can do fur ya,” Bruh Rabbit inquired?
“Well, to tell ya the truth Bruh Rabbit I is in my waning stage. In other words I is takin’ a vacation ‘cause I need to take a break from Bruh Sun who is always chasin’ me across the sky,” Grandmother Moon said.
“Is dere anything I can do fur ya,” Bruh Rabbit wanted to know?
“Oh no Bruh rabbit I don’t think you the man to do the job I need doin’,” said Grandmother Moon.
Bruh Rabbit was insulted so he says to Grand mother Moon, “I is more of a man den Bruh Sun is. At least I don’t be chasin’ ya across the sky tryin’ to get yo affection the way he do. I jest sits in my back yard and admire ya from afar.”
Grandmother Moon smiled and said to Bruh Rabbit, “Alright Bruh Rabbit don’t get yo’self all huffed up. I’ll give ya a try if’n ya feel that strongly about it. I need to get word to Ms Woman and Mr. Man. Tell ‘em I’ll be takin’ a little vacation and my light will get less and less for the next few days. You know Bruh Rabbit, I don’t want Ms Woman and Mr. Man to look up in the sky and see my light is out and get scared. Know what I mean?
“I know what ya mean Grandmother Moon. I’ll be more than happy to take the word to ‘em. Ya know I’s been wantin’ to see what Ms Woman and Mr. Man looked like anyway. “Cause it’s awful hard to see ‘em from way up here,” Bruh Rabbit said.
Grandmother Moon thanked Bruh Rabbit for his willingness to help. She then said to him, “I want ya to tell Ms Woman and Mr. Man that I am goin’ on vacation to rest up and get some more light so I can brighten up the sky at night.” She paused and looked away for just a moment, then she said, “I also want you to tell Ms Woman and Mr. Man that as I go so shall I come.” Before Grandmother Moon could look back in the direction where Bruh Rabbit was standing, he had already taken that long running start and jumped a long jump through space, passed the stars. “I know I shouldn’t a trusted that rabbit, he just cain’t stay still long enough to keep his pants on. If’n he had pants to keep on in the first place,” Grandmother Moon said as she shook her head.
Bruh Rabbit landed on the earth tumbling head over tail, head over tail. When he stopped rolling he was so scared, his eyes almost popped out his head and you know that’s how this eyes been ever since. He laid there for a minute then he stood up and checked himself to make sure that all his parts were in the right places and in working order…..
You will find the full story on my blog site motherwitstories.blogspot.com This story explains how Bruh Rabbit got into a fight with Grandmother Moon and moved himself down to earth and met Bruh Dog and Miss Lucy Coon.
Sometime after Bruh Rabbit come down to earth, he met Bruh Dog. At first they were, well shall we say not the best of friends, but he didn’t hate each other either. Bruh Dog didn’t know what to think of Bruh Rabbit seeing as to how Bruh Rabbit hadn’t been on earth that long. Bruh Rabbit usta live next door to Grandmother Moon, but they got into a big o fight one night and that’s when Bruh Rabbit decided to come on down to earth. Bruh Rabbit was the only one who had ever gotten into a fight with Grandmother Moon. Eb'body know’d ‘bout it ‘cause Bruh Rabbit had the split lip that Grandmother Moon gibe im to prove it. So ya can see why Bruh Dog wasn’t quite sure what to make of Bruh Rabbit and all his ways ‘cause he wasn’t usta nobody who was always playing tricks on im like Bruh Rabbit do all the time.
Anyway, let me tell ya the reason all Dogs come to chase Rabbits. It all started when Bruh Dog and Bruh Rabbit took a likin’ to Miss Lucy Coon at the same time. I can tell ya right now ole Bruh Dog started likin’ Miss Lucy Coon first and Bruh Rabbit come along later. Bruh Rabbit had never seen a raccoon before he come down to earth and as pretty as Miss Lucy Coon is; well he couldn’t help how he was feeling.
Almost every day ya could pass by Mss Lucy Coon’s front yard and see Bruh Dog sitting on the stump nearest the front porch playing his guitar and singing love songs to Miss Lucy Coon. Bruh Rabbit being the sort that he is just had it in his mind to court Miss Lucy. He paid no mind to the fact that Bruh Dog was a courtin’ Miss Lucy long before he ever got the notion.
So it goes without sayin’ almost every day ya could pass by Miss Lucy Coon’s front yard and see ole Bruh Rabbit sitting on the porch sippin’ cider through a straw. There he’d be, just-a-sittin’ there trying to woo Miss Lucy Coon into likin’ him more than Bruh Dog.
Almost everyday at the same time, Bruh Dog sat on the stump and sang his songs to, ‘bout and for Miss Lucy Coon. Every time he’d stop singin’, Miss Lucy would say to him; she’d say, “Oh Bruh Dog please don’t stop singin’, ya sing so sweet. I’s just love it when ya sing those songs. Ya songs just sweet me so.” Of course Bruh Dog would get all shy and blush. He’d hang his head and move his foot around in the dirt causing Cousin Dust to rise up a little bit. Then he’d say “Ah shucks Miss Lucy I’s didn’t knows ya was really payin’ all that much attention to me.”
Well ya gotta know this just rubbed Bruh Rabbit the wrong way. It made him so jealous he could hardly see straight. So much in fact that he had to come up with a plan to make Miss Lucy see him instead of Bruh Dog. But what could he do? He couldn’t out sing Bruh Dog; nobody in them there parts could out sing Bruh Dog. He had the sweetest voice ya every wanted to hear. What’s more, Bruh Rabbit couldn’t play on guitar ‘cause when he lived in the sky he ain’t never had no guitar to learn on in the first place. So, once again it goes without sayin’, he had to figure out how he could get ole Bruh Dog to stop likin’ Miss Lucy Coon.
You could bet Bruh Rabbit had himself a plan. More than likely it wasn’t a real good plan but a plan none the less. Well, there they both were Bruh Rabbit sittin’ on the front porch as close as he could be to Miss Lucy Coon without sitting in her lap, sippin’ cider through a straw. Bruh Dog had more gumption than Bruh Rabbit had. He’d sit on the stump closest to the porch and sing his newest song to Miss Lucy Coon.
At this point I am going to skip to the end of this story so I can introduce the next story of How Bruh Gator Meets Trouble.
…..“Why Bruh Rabbit, what’s there to be afraid uh? This here is an invite to dinner and you is the guest of honor,” Bruh Dog said in a reassuring way that made Bruh Rabbit uncomfortable. No sooner than he said that did a pack of dogs, who came out from under the bridge lickin’ they chops, jump on the bridge blockin’ both ends. One of em yells, “Get em boys!” Bruh Rabbit took off so fast that he made Cousin Dust rise up to his full height. He left them dogs coughing in the wake of Cousin Dust and he jumped over the side of that bridge and headed down stream, water splashing everywhere. Don’t cha know Bruh Dog didn’t wait for his dog friends to catch they breath, he took off after Bruh Rabbit like he was a blot of lightin’. When he did that is made a few of Cousin Dust’s relatives rise to their full potential.
Once again, Bruh Rabbit was runnin’ from Bruh Dog and once again he had to come up with some new way to trick Bruh Dog who was hot on his trail. Runnin’ down the middle of the stream was workin’ just fine ‘cause dogs don’t like water very much. Bruh Rabbit run down the middle of the stream ‘till he got to the mouth of the stream where it opened up into the river. He yells’ back at Bruh Dog, “Ya can’t fool me I’s know’d ya was up to some’n. Bruh Rabbit’s feet was movin’ faster then they had ever moved before. Bruh Dog who was runnin’ long the banks yellin’ out to Bruh Rabbit, “Come on back Bruh Rabbit, you is the main reasons I is holdin’ dis here dinner in the first place.” Bruh Rabbit got to the other side of the river long before Bruh Dog did and he took off runnin’. He must not a had his eyes all the way open cause he run right over top of Bruh Gator who was baskin’ on the banks, in the sun by the water, sleeping with his mouth wide open....
In this next story Bruh Rabbit plays a trick on Bruh Gator just so he could introduce him to TROUBLE, all on the count of Bruh Gator not knowing what trouble was.
Everybody knows how Bruh Gator is always talking about how smart he is ‘cause he lives in the water. Well, Bruh Rabbit being the sort that he is just had it in his mind to teach Bruh Gator a lesson. Now you have to understand Bruh Rabbit just couldn’t help creating some kind of devilment, after all that’s just his way. As a matter of fact that’s the very reason why he was running from Bruh Dog on this particular Sunday. All on the count of Bruh Rabbit and Bruh Dog had both takin’ a liking to Miss Lucy Coon at the same time.
As a matter of fact Bruh Rabbit was always busy, running from Bruh Dog. He spent most of his time running from Bruh Dog. So much in fact, he had to keep coming up with new ways to trick him. The chase was on and this time Bruh Rabbit tried to shake Bruh Dog off his trail by running down by the river. He was running so fast that he must not a had his eyes all the way open, ‘cause he run right over top of Bruh Gator who was basking in the hot sun on the banks.
“Ow ow ow uoof ow ow uhh, Bruh Gator uttered as Bruh Rabbit ran up the tail end and straight across the nose end of Bruh Gator. “Hey watch where yur going. You just left yo foot prints all over me and that gives me the right to eat ya!”
Let me take a few minutes to do some explaining. Bruh Gator had a smooth as silk pearly white skin and pretty blue eyes. He loved being a water dweller, and his favored thing to do was to come pontop uh hard dry land and go to sleep in the sun, with his mouth wide open. Now I don’t have to tell you this frightened all the land animals and Bruh Gator just couldn’t understand why. He couldn’t understand why those who lived pontop uh hard dry land did so in the first place, nor could he keep it a secret. He was always bragging ‘bout how he was the king of the water and how all the water dwellers were the smartest in the whole world. Now Bruh Gator had never met any kind of trouble on the count of everybody knew better than to go messing with anybody who considered himself to be the king of the water. Especially if they had a mouth full of pearly white sharp teeth like Bruh Gator had in his mouth. But that didn’t make no difference to Bruh Rabbit ‘cause he always had a trick or two he could play to get his point across.
Like I said earlier, Bruh Gator slept with his mouth wide open whenever he was laying around in the sun ‘cause he might just get a meal without having to work for it. When Bruh Rabbit ran over top of him the way he did, Bruh gator snapped his mouth shut. Mad that the missed a meal on the first bit, he lurched out to catch whatever had the gall to run up one end of ‘em and down the other. It’s a good thing rabbits can’t jump the length of a gator, ‘cause Bruh Gator—who can jump as far as he is tall—over judged his jumping distance and missed Bruh Rabbit by a tail. Just imagine this great big ole alligator coming at ya ‘cause ya just woke him up from his beauty rest.
Well let me tell you Bruh Rabbit almost lost his big-o-bushy tail. Oh, did I forget to tell you? I did, didn’t I? Child let me tell ya, back in them days all rabbits had big bushy tails. Sort of like what squirrel have, only bigger. Anyway, if Bruh Rabbit hadn’t uh moved just in the nick of time, he’d uh lost his tail.
Bruh Rabbit jerked himself out of the way screaming, “Hold on dere Bruh Gator, I got enough trouble without you snappin’ at me.” Bruh Gator stopped dead in his tracks ‘cause he couldn’t believe somebody had the nerve to talk to him that way, being King and all.
“What you mean hold on, you just left yo foot prints all up my back. Now in Gator law that gives me the right to eat ya,” Bruh Gator said quite firmly.
“You can’t use Gator laws up here pontop uh hard dry land ‘cause it ain’t yo domain,” Bruh Rabbit said in his best police voice. “I just got done tellin’ ya I got enough trouble without you adding to it,” Bruh Rabbit said huffing and puffing. “Besides if you really wanta good meal, my trouble is coming down the path directly and Bruh Dog is a much bigger meal than I am.”
Bruh dog had already caught the sent of that big ole Gator and he turned around screaming over hiss shoulder, “You ain’t seen Trouble yet Bruh Rabbit. I’ll get you if it’s the last thing I do,” and then he ran back up the path he had just run down.
“Who is this Trouble feller ya’ll keep on talking about? How’s he look and how’s Trouble stand,” Bruh Gator wanted to know?
To Bruh Rabbit’s amazement, he couldn’t believe that Bruh Gator didn’t know nothing-a-tall ‘bout TROUBLE. This gave Bruh Rabbit an idea, so he asks Bruh Gator, he days, “Ain’t you ever seen Trouble befo?”
“No I cain’t says I’s ever met em befo. We don’t have trouble in Gatorville. This Trouble feller, he sounds like he’s a much bigger meal than Bruh Dog is,” Bruh Gator said hungrily. Being the bog ole gator that he was, he was always hungry and he was always looking for something to eat.
Bruh Rabbit started to get that tingly feeling he gets whenever he’s about to play a trick on someone. So he said, “Oh yes indeed he is a whole lot bigger that Bruh Dog is and ya know when you get Trouble on your plate, ya get a whole mess full, believe me,” Bruh Rabbit said in his most promising voice. “I could introduce you to em if ya like, but maybe that ain’t such a good idea,” Bruh Rabbit said in a sly voice.
Bruh Gator snaps back, “Aw come on Rabbit you owe it to me for not eatin’ ya right here and now,” Bruh Gator said as he started moving toward Bruh Rabbit.
“Now, now, Bruh Gator I can see that hungry look in yo eye so, I tell you what. Your meet me right over there in the middle of the broom grass at high noon tomorrow, and I’ll show you the biggest plate full of Trouble you ever seen in yo life. Okay!” With a spit on the paw and a firm shake, the appointment to meet TROUBLE was made…..
Again I’m going to skip to the end of the story so you can read how Bruh Gator became Uncle Monday.
……Bruh Rabbit watched the whole thing from the stump and he laughed out loud. He yells out to Bruh Gator, he says, “Now ya know what Trouble looks like and how he stands, so don’t go near him again. Ya’ll stay in the muddy river where ya’ll belong, ya hear me!”
These next 4 pages will peek your interest and perhaps you will want to read the whole story.
Well after Bruh Rabbit tricked Bruh Gator into meeting TROUBLE, Bruh Gator decided that he was going to do something about it. He had warned Bruh Rabbit not to come no where near the water, ‘cause if he did he would meet some of Trouble’s relatives. You know the kind of Trouble that stays at your house longer than your mother-in-law.
Bruh Rabbit knew better then to go messin’ ‘round the water after playing that trick on Bruh Gator ‘cause he wasn’t quite ready to be a meal at Bruh Gator’s table yet, if you know what I mean. Bruh Gator got tired of waiting for that skinny rabbit to make a mistake so he took to learnin’ some man things. The first thing he had to learn was how to stand upright so he could walk on two legs. He wasn’t having much lick with the business of being a two legged walker ‘til Granny Day came along a few Mondays later.
Now they don’t call the side of the river the banks for nothin’. It’s full of riches and that’s why Granny Day was looking for a special ingredient to work some of her day long magic. That’s when she come upon Bruh Gator laying on the bank near the water basking in the sun sleeping with his mouth wide open. Let me point out the fact that Bruh Gator usta have pearly whit, smooth as silk skin and he would lay in the sun a lot, that is, before he met TROUBLE.
“Why you’s the biggest Gator I ever seen,” Granny Day blurted out.
She startled Bruh Gator so bad that his mouth snapped shut and in the wink of an eye he was in the water, ‘cause the first thing he thought about was TROUBLE and not his stomach.
“Hoo wee, I ain’t never seen a Gator move that fast in all my days,” Granny Day said.
Bruh Gator wasn’t taken’ no chances ‘cause he wasn’t ready to meet TROUBLE anytime soon. Once was enough as far as Bruh Gator was concerned.
“Oh it’s only you Granny Day, you sho gave me a fright for a second. I is not too excited about meeting TROUBLE any time soon,” Bruh Gator admitted.
“I can certainly understand that. Looks like Bruh Rabbit introduced you to TROUBLE. By-me-by Bruh Gator what happened to your pearly white skin,” Granny Day asked?
“Ya see, I was laying on da bank near the water, basking in the sun like I always do. I was mindin’ my own business when Bruh Rabbit just run right over top uh me. When I asked ‘im what he was running from he said trouble. So I ask ‘im, I said, how’s Trouble look, and how’s he stand? Well, when he heard me say that he decided it was time for me to meet ‘im, TROUBLE that is. I met ‘im alright and that’s why I’m all green and lumpy,” Bruh Gator said.
“I see that rabbit is still up to his old tricks,” said Granny Day.
“Ya well, I plans to get him back. You should see what I been teaching myself to do. I ain’t real good at it yet but I’s gon’ keep on working on it,” Bruh Gator said all proud of himself.
“Well I’m waiting,” Granny Day said.
“Waiting for what,” Bruh Gator wanted to know?
“You gon show me what you been working on or not,” Granny Day wanted to know.
“Oh alright, but ya gotta promise ya won’t poke fun ‘cause I ain’t so good at it yet. Come on promise ya won’t poke fun,” said Bruh Gator.
“Why Bruh Gator have you ever known me to poke fun at anybody for trying,” Granny Day asked, as she placed her hand on her left hip. When she did that, it made her full length whit apron move ever so slight. Just in case some of ya’ll didn’t know, Granny Day wears an apron that reflects the Days activities, past, present and future, just like a mirror. If you look at it too long you could fall in and repeat some part of the day.
“No I can’t says I has ever knowed ya to poke fun at anybody,” Bruh Gator said as he came out of the water. With a whole lotta gruntin’ he stood upright just like a natural man. Granny Day was some proud of Bruh Gator.
“Why Bruh Gator, you can stand upright on two legs.” She fancied that and started clapping.
“Wait,” said Bruh Gator, “that ain’t the half of it watch this,” and with a whole lot of concentration he walked about eight or nine steps before his middle rippled and soen he went. “Ufooh,” said Bruh Gator as his chin hit the water making a small splash.
Bruh Gator got up real fast, “Well, what ya think, pretty good huh,” Bruh Gator said a l excited. “I figure in a few more days I be able to walk upright just like a man can.”
Granny Day was quite surprised to see Bruh Gator was walking like a two legged, but she wondered what he was planning to do after he learned to walk like a man, so she asked him.
“Exactly what are yo plans Bruh Gator, ya gonna go after Bruh Rabbit or somthin”?
“Somethin’ like that. I ain’t got it all figured out yet but I’s plans ta teach that rabbit a lesson he won’t forget anytime soon.” Bruh Gator said quite firmly.
Granny Day knew that Bruh Gator meant every word. He was determined to teach Bruh Rabbit a lesson. If anyone could teach Bruh Rabbit a lesson, it ought to be Bruh Gator since he and his kind had suffered so much. As a matter of fact all the gators suffered. They all turned green and lumpy all on the count of Bruh Rabbit. Bruh Rabbit didn’t mean no harm he just wanted Bruh Gator to know what it meant to have TROUBLE. And since the gators didn’t know what it meant to have TROUBLE he didn’t see anything wrong with making the introduction. But what he didn’t know was he had affected al the gators. You see what happened when Bruh Gator met TROUBLE, all the gator lost their pearly white, smooth as silk skin and their pretty blue eyes turned a fiery red. What Bruh Gator didn’t know was that fiery red in his eyes was gonna be a big help to him in more ways than one.
The two continued conversating for the next few hours as Granny Day worked her magic into the rest of the day. She sprinkled magic dust that made things grow. Each and every time she did that, the fairies would show up and take a shower in it and that’s why they call it fairy dust. All of a sudden out of the clear blue sky, Sis Wind came blowing through the leaves of the plants that were close to the ground. She like to do that ‘cause it gave her a chance to dance with the plants. But somehow when her skirt and tasseled shawl twirled, Cousin Dust managed to get a couple of steps in and stir up all over the place before settling down. Cousin Dust made Granny Day cough and Bruh Gator let out a big-o-sneeze. So big, in fact that he blew himself back in the water.
“Hello Granny Day, Bruh Gator. How ya’ll doing and what ya’ll doing and…” It was a know fact that Sis Wind never asked just on question. Most folks didn’t mind to much. They all knew she had a lot of information ‘cause she could travel around the world in the wink of and eye, if she had a mind to. Sis Wind was a child of the African Goddess who was the keeper of the wind, so it was most important not to make her mad…If ya did she could turn into a hurricane or maybe even a tornado.
“One question at a time,” Bruh Gator said as he pulled himself back out of the water. He dripped back to where he and Granny Day had been sitting.
“Oh my goodness,” Sis Wind said after taking a good look a Bruh Gator, from head to toe. “I had no idea meeting Trouble would do this to ya. I just swooped down to tell Granny Day that I hadn’t see any gators ‘round ever since I saw you run through that circle of fire Bruh Rabbit made just so you could meet and shake hands with TROUBLE.”
“We all gotten a little shy since that dreadful Monday,” said Bruh Gator. “We usta be the most handsomest creatures God ever made. Now look at us. It’s all on the count of that skinny little rabbit we gators don’t show ourselves very much anymore. “Cause being green and lumpy ain’t pretty and that’s why we’s all shy now-er-days.”
Bruh Gator got awful mad just thinking about that Monday. Why he got so mad that his red eyes started burning. Granny Day and Sis Wind were so rapped up in a conversation about their days work that they hadn’t noticed. Sis Wind just dropped in to give Granny Day the news she had collected along her way…..
This story continues with the power of Granny Days magic, which is how Bruh Gator discovers a new kind of magic. I hope you want to learn what happened and how Bruh Gator became Uncle Monday.
Oh ya, I almost forgot to tell you, that the time did finally come when Bruh Gator got back at Bruh Rabbit for introducing his kind to TROUBLE.
This is the full story of how the Gators got back at Bruh Rabbit for introducing them to TROUBLE!
Everybody in Gatorville knew the plan. They were instructed to keep an eye out for any rabbit that might be dumb enough to come down by the river. It just so happened that one of Bruh Rabbits relatives the Swamp Rabbit, lived by the swampiest part of the river. Now he couldn’t see why he had to stay away from the river. After all, he wasn’t the one who played the trick on the gators in the first place. Besides, he had lived in these parts all his life and he wasn’t going to let some little-o-fight between Bruh Rabbit and Bruh Gator stop him from walking down by the river. So he decided to go for a walk down by the river anyway. He figured that fight didn’t have anything to do with him any-o-way.
Let me tell you the reason why all rabbits have short tails. It’s all on the count of Bruh Rabbits cousin the Swamp Rabbit. You see, he tried to out smart the alligators one day down by the river. I don’t need to tell you the swamp Rabbit isn’t as pert as all the other rabbits. He’s got plenty of horse sense, but he’s lazy when it come time to do any kind of work. He will always find a way ta take a short cut to lighten his load.
Anyway, one day he was waking down by the river, when he decided he wanted to be on the other side of the river. Being that he was at the swampiest part of the river, he wasn’t about to swim across. So he looked up the river and he looked down the river. There wasn’t a bridge in sight.
Then the swamp Rabbit looked in the river and saw a alligator swimming around. Right then and there he gets himself a plan to cross the river. So he hollers at him and says, “Oh Bruhuh Allugattuh, I bets dere’s mo rabbits in the world den dere’s allugattuhs.”
Of course, Bruh Alligator yells back, “Is not!”
“Is too,” said the swamp Rabbit.
“Is not,” snapped the alligator!
“Is too,” insisted the swamp Rabbit!
“Is not,” says the alligator.
“All right then prove it call out all the alluhgattuhs and have em make a line ‘corss the river so I can count em,” persisted the swamp Rabbit.
The alligator, not remembering Uncle Monday’s plan, called out all te alligators and told them to make a line across the river so they could prove once-n-for all there were more alligators in the world than there were rabbits.
No sooner then the line was made did the swamp Rabbit start jumping from one back to the other, counting out-loud like this, “One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve,” and on like that ‘til he reached the other side.
When he got to the other side he sat down to dry the water from hiss big o bushy tail. Bruh Alligator swam over and said, “Okay Rabbit now it’s yo turn to call out all de rabbits so I can count em.”
The swamp Rabbit laughed out loud at the Alligator saying, “Ah don’t have any intention of callin’ out de rabbits. Ah jes wanted to get ‘cross de rivah, so Ah tricks ya.” Well, the swamp Rabbit forgot that his big-o-bushy tail was still hanging over the bank and now the Alligator had Uncle Mondays plan firmly planted in his head.
Well, I don’t need to tell you Bruh Rabbit’s cousin shouldn’t have told the alligator what he did ‘cause this made the alligator pow’ful mad. So the gator darts hiss head quick like and bites off the long part of the Swamp Rabbits tail. So it goes without saying that’s how all rabbits come to have short tails to this very day.
You can bet every time Ole Bruh Rabbit goes to sit down, his little nub of a tail reminds him of that old saying, “What goes around, comes around sooner or later.”
Back when Bruh Rabbit played that trick on Bruh Dog, he told Cousin Dust he’d get back at him for laughing when Bruh Rabbit fell in the dirt which caused Cousin Dust to rise up a little bit. The next story is how Bruh Rabbit got back at Cousin Dust.
A ONE-OF-A-KIND RACE
How Bruh Rabbit gets back at Cousin Dust
You remember when Bruh Rabbit was trying to win the heart of Miss Lucy Coon and he tripped and fell? That was the very day Miss Lucy Coon decided that she wanted to be with Bruh Dog and not Bruh Rabbit. Remember when he fell and his chin hit the dirt, which caused Cousin Dust to rise up and laugh at him? Well that’s when Bruh Rabbit told Cousin Dust, “Yo day is comin’’. You can bet being the sort Bruh Rabbit is you somehow knew he meant every word.
Bruh Rabbit was determined to get back at Cousin Dust ever since he laughed at him. He had been scheming for a long kind uh time and he finally came up with a plan. One day when Bruh Rabbit didn’t have nothing else to do, he decided to take a little trip up to the sky to pay a visit to Bruh Sun. Now Bruh Rabbit ain’t never paid on visit to Bruh Sun when he lived up in the sky. And you can bet he ain’t never ever talked to Bruh Sun, he just needed to find out where Cloud City was and he didn’t want Bruh Sun to know what he was up to.
You do remember that Bruh Rabbit use to live in the sky right next door to Grandmother Moon don’t cha? It had been a long kinda of time since Bruh Rabbit had been up in the sky on the count of that fight he had with Grandmother Moon. Now, ole Bruh Rabbit had to be on his best behavior ‘cause Bruh Sun been liking Grandmother Moon for a long kind uh time. Bruh Sun been chasing Grandmother Moon across the sky ever since the moved up there years ago.
Well just like Bruh Rabbit did the first time, he took a long running jump and jumped himself all the way up to the sky. When he got there he went on over to Bruh Sun’s house just so he could get directions to Cloud City. Bruh Rabbit told Bruh Sun he had to talk to Pa Cloud about a personal matter. First, Bruh Rabbit had to go through all the pleasantries one goes through when one is visiting for the first time before he could get to why he was visiting Bruh Sun in the first place.
Cloud City ain’t like any other city in the whole world. Unlike any other city, Cloud City floats and drifts from one end of the sky to the other. That is the very reason why Bruh Rabbit needed to visit Bruh Sun. That’s ‘cause Bruh Sun is the only one who knows the where-a-bouts of Cloud City. Bruh Sun lives so high in the sky he can look down and see erything and eb’body.
Now Bruh Rabbit had to figure out how to get Bruh Sun to give him the direction to Cloud City without exposing his plan as to why he needed to find Pa Cloud in the first place. Once the two got down to why Bruh Rabbit was visiting, he discovered finding Pa Cloud wasn’t going be as dimple as he thought.
Bruh Sun told him that he could in fact tell him where Cloud City was but by the time he got there it wouldn’t be there anymore. Bruh Sun told Bruh Rabbit his best bet would be to visit Ol Rainmaker. Ol Rainmaker lived close to Dark Cloud Blvd. Bruh Sun also told Bruh Rabbit that Pa Cloud and Ol Rainmaker were very good friends and worked together all the time. “Why it’s a know fat dat most eb’body in da Cloud family has helped Ol Rainmaker store da water he needed for da up coming storms,” Bruh Sun mentioned in a casual tone.
Well with all the information Bruh Rabbit had gotten from Bruh Sun, he was on his way to some where between Lighting Street and Thunder Boulevard to find Ol Rainmaker. When he finally got there, once again he had to go through all the first time greetings and tea drinking before he could get to why he had come to pay a visit in the first place.
Now Ol Rainmaker didn’t mind taking a break ‘cause he had been working some kind uh hard trying to get enough water stored up. There was a storm justa brewing over in the north forty and he had to make sure he had plenty uh water on hand for the occasion.
Once all the pleasantries was over with, Bruh Rabbit just out and ask if he could ask his question. He says, “Ol Rainmaker I has a question I needs to ask ya.” Befpre Ol Rainmaker could say anything, Bruh Rabbit just up and ask ‘em, he says, “Mr. Rainmaker I came here ta ask if’n I’s could set up uh race betwixt Cousin Dust and yo Beautiful cousin Rain Cloud. I would be most appreciative if’n Bruh Wind would do da honor of escorting Miss Rain Cloud to da race on da appointed day and take on da ‘sponsibility of startin’ dis here race.’
Ol Rainmaker picked up his teacup and sipped on it like he was trying to make it last for al long time. He had to think about Bruh Rabbit’s request for some kind uh long time. Why he thought so long, Lighting flashed, Thunder runmled, and he still hadn’t give his answer. As a matter-o-fact, Bruh Rabbit grew tired uh waiting for Ol Rainmaker to make up hiss mind. So, he cleared his throat and raise one eyebrow. Ol Rainmaker finally said, “Ya know Bruh rabbit…” he paused for a minute and sipped on some more tea. Then he said, “If’n it had uh been in’body else asking dis here question I would uh said no; but since it’s you I’ll agree ta your proposal.” Then he added, “but only if’n my cousin Rain Cloud wants ta, ‘cause it’ all up to her don’t ya know.”
Bruh Rabbit stood up and said, “Ol Rainmaker I’s wants ta thank ya for agreeing to help me out. Dere’s jest one more thing I’s has to say toa ya, and dat’s dis…could ya ask Rain Cloud if’n she could please wear her best runnin’ suit. Now da only reason I’s is asking is ‘cause she is so, well, she’s so-oh-beautiful. And dere is gonna be uh whole mess uh folks out dere to watch dis here race and I’s just wants eb’body to behold her beauty,” Bruh Rabbit said hoping he was convincing enough.
Then Bruh Rabbit stood up and headed for the door pretending to leave. He stopped and said , Oh ya dere is jest one mo thang I wanna add,” he says, “I was wandering if’n Rain Ckloud could arrive at da race with uh little water weight. I’s already know she can out run Cousin Dust but he don’t think so.” Again, Bruh Rabbit pretended he was leaving just so he could say on more thing.
“Oh ya, I hope she don’t mind my asking dat she partake in dis here race, but Cousin Dust thinks he da fastest thang on earth. So dis is what I need.” Then he walked over to the table and sat back down. “I needs her ta be slow when Bruh Wind starts da race. Then, I’s wants her ta release da water she got stored up. After dat she can speed on to da finish line and win da race. I’s is askin’ dis here favor jest so Cusin Dust can learn dis here lesson,” Bruh Rabbit said in a most convincing voice.
Well Ol Rainmaker did ask Rain Cloud if she wanted to participate in Bruh Rabbit’s race. Ya gotta know Rain Cloud agreed to run the race. She had no idea about Bruh Rabbit’s plan to get back at Cousin Dust for laughing at him. If she’d uh known ‘bout hiss plan she would not have agreed to run the race. When Bruh Rabbit got back to earth he sent out the word that there was going to be a big race on the following Sunday. Only he up and tells eb’body that the race was an hour earlier than what he told Ol Rainmaker. I guess he did that just so eb’body would be more than ready for the race to start.
On the appointed day, all the animals got there extra early just so they could get a good spot to see the race from start to finish. That meant that the critter folks started showing up for the race at least two hours early.
The big guy Bruh Bear, he took up residents at the bend of the road just so he could make sure everything went smooth. Let’s just say Bruh Bear been around a long kind uh time and he knew how Bruh Rabbit couldn’t help himself, he just might play one of his tricks at the blind sot in the road. He just didn’t know who would be the unfortunate one to be the brunt end of Bruh Rabbit’s antics.
Bruh Wolf took up position at the start line ‘cause he wanted to make sure everything went well. Ya see, unlike Bruh Dog, Bruh Wolf didn’t trust Bruh Rabbit. He knew all about Bruh Rabbit’s tricks, so he decided that the start line was the very place he wanted to be. Just so he could beep an eye on Bruh Rabbit. Bruh Fox wanted to make sure Bruh Rabbit hadn’t planted one of his fool tricks mid way the race, so he hung out at the crossroads.
Now usually “Birds of a Feather Flock Together” but on this particular Sunday Sis Hen, Sis Goose and Ms Partridge were all gathered some where betwixt the start line and the crossroads. The Ladies felt fairly safe with their look out plan to watch the race. This way the could keep a look out in both direction and enjoy the all at the same time.
Ms Partridge perched herself in the Pear tree so she could see in all directions real good. Sis Hen posted herself on the fence just so she could see anybody who tried to sneak up on her. She knew all about Bruh Fox, as she had lost her whole brood to him last spring. Sis Goose stood guard down on the road ‘cause eb’body knew better than to go messing with a Goose when she gets mad. Ya see the ladies needed to keep an eye out for Bruh Wolf at the start line and Bruh Fox who was guarding the crossroads because they both had a taste for feathered creatures….
Well I can’t give you the ending to this story; you’re going to have to order it for yourself.
Bruh Rabbit is not the only one who has out foxed the Fox Clan. In this next story Sis Hen takes Bruh Fox to court.
Well let me tell you the story about how Sis Hen sot justice in the courts. Sis Hen just loved her babies. Every spring Sis Hen would hatch a big brooded of babies. Like any mother she cared and watched over them. She taught them what was good to eat. She taught them who to look out for. Most of all she taught them that Bruh Fox and his kind was no friend, as he had a taste for the feather folks like themselves.
Every morning shortly after Bruh Roster woke Bruh Sun, Sis Hen would lead her babies from her nesting place to the chicken yard where she and her children would spend the day eating and socializing. Now you have to understand how proud Sis Hen was of her babies. So much in fact, that she didn’t even have time to gossip with the other Hens. Not that Sis Hen was the gossiping type, but some of the other Hens were. You know what I’m talking about don’t cha? You know that sound chickens make when they are strutting around the yard with nothing better to do?
It sounds like this, “gosssssip, gosssssip, gosssssip.”
Now you know what gossip sounds like, so try not to make that sound. Whenever you hear anyone making that sound, you know they are talking about something somebody did or didn’t do, said or didn’t say.
Anyway don’t get me wrong ‘bout Sis Hen. It’s not that she didn’t socialize; she just didn’t have time to gossip, as her children were very, very important to her. It wasn’t because she thought she was better than anyone else. It wasn’t because she was an over protective mother either. Well, she was over protective on the count of what had happened last spring. She had lost all her babies to Bruh Fox and she was determined not to loose any of her babies to the fox family this year.
Now Bruh Fox had a nasty habit that he just couldn’t break. He loved Sis Hen’s babies more than she did. He just didn’t love them the same way she did. No he didn’t, he just couldn’t resist the way them babies tasted. Why he loved the way they tasted so much that he didn’t even make an effort to break his bad habit.
On this particular day, Sis Hen was frantic, as she had already lost some of her new brood to Bruh Fox just yesterday. She decided that she was going to do something about it no matter what. The next day she kept her babies huddled around her so close you’d a thought there was a new kind of chicken in the world. Sis hen wandered the yard in an awkward fashion, as her babies were afraid to leave their mother. It took a much longer time to eat and this was exactly what Bruh Fox wanted.
Sis Hen tried to stay near the hen house to eat but there wasn’t enough food for all of them to eat. So she had to keep moving to different parts of the yard which put them much to close to the edge of things. When they got to the edge of the yard Bruh Fox jumped out the bushes where he’d been hiding. He showed his teeth and growled real loud. Those babies scattered in every direction you could imagine. Sis Hen ran around trying to gather them babies up but every time she got one, she’d lose another. Now her babies couldn’t run fast enough to keep up with their mother. As she ran around trying to keep Bruh Fox from gulping down her babies, Bruh Fox, he ran around gulping down her babies. On top of all of that, he got Cousin Dust all stirred up in the air so Sis Hen couldn’t see real good.
When Cousin Dust settled down good enough for eb’body to see, only Bruh Fox and Sis Hen was left. She was so mad that she flew up in the air and tried to scratch Bruh Fox but he quick jumped out of the way. She tried again and again. Being a fox and all Bruh Fox was able to keep out of her reach.
Sis Hen was so mad she could hardly see straight. She yells at Bruh Fox, “Dat’s it Bruh Fox, I is takin’ ya to court and havin’ ya thrown under the jail for de rest of yo natural born days for gulping down my babies.” Bruh Fox didn’t say a word, he just run off back into the bushes where he came from. Poor Sis Hen went back to her nest and cried and cried.
The next morning Sis Hen got up just a little earlier than Bruh Rooster did and headed out the chicken yard and on down the dirt road to the Old Courthouse. Sis Hen thought she was alone but Cousin Dust puffed up in every one of her footprints as she walked herself all the way to the Old Courthouse.
When Sis Hen got to the Courthouse, she paused at the door. She gathered all her strength, fluffed up her feathers and marched herself straight into the courtroom. She slowed her pace as she neared the front of the courtroom, as the bailiff was a fox and when she looked up so was the Judge. None the less, she stated her case. The Judge motioned her sit at the plaintiffs’ table. He motioned the bailiff over to his bench and whispered in his ear. Then he said to Sis Hen as he cleared his throat, he says, “Sis Hen I just instructed de bailiff to tell de Sheriff ta go get Bruh Fox, so’s we can get dis here matter taken care uh. You just relax it’s only gonna take uh little uh yo time, okay.”
Now Sis Hen was sensing something was not right ’cause when the jury came in and sat in the jury box, ‘ery one of ‘em was a fox. When the Sheriff came in, he was a fox. Last to come in was Bruh Fox and his lawyer, Mr. Slydale who was a fox. Sis Hen found herself surround by the entire Fox clan, er’wher she looked eb’body was a fox.
I can’t tell you the end of this story; you’ll just have to order it for yourself. This story speaks on the hardship African American women endured under the guise of slavery.